Thursday, 15 May 2008
Reasons I Blog So Infrequently
All of the above seems to be proving to me that I no longer have a life. I have checked behind the couch cushions, at the bottom of the laundry pile and in the mysterious pile of books and articles that breeds beside my bed. My life is not to be found. It seems like far too much effort to make a new life, so I may just try to replicate the old one. To do so, I would have to remove some of the things that are taking up the space which my life used to take up. Something to think on, I think.
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Sunday, 13 April 2008
Lets play dress-up
I love dressing up and looking silly, and tonight was a great excuse - someone I dive with was having a fancy dress party for his 55th birthday. So off I went, dressed up as below. Any guesses who I was?  |
Sunday, 30 March 2008
A slip into something I detest
| I'm not sure what the trigger has been, but somehow, in the past 6 months or so, I seem to have turned into a person that, if it was someone else, I'd hate. I'm flakey. Disorganised. Unmotivated. Lazy, depressed, getting chubby through lack of will to do anything whatsoever, and generally grumpy and pathetic. It's an understatement to say that I am hugely dissapointed with myself. I'd done so well, at one point. There was a certain point in time, a pinnacle almost, where I felt that I had dragged myself out of the bad, dark years and I was in a better place. Somehow though, I got lazy and now I've slipped from the pinnacle. Things aren't bad, really - it's not that anything very much has gone wrong in life, it's more that I can't bring myself to appreciate anything and dwell too much on the bad stuff. It has to stop. I have to motivate myself. Its not fair to me, or those around me, to carry on this way. Just gotta workout what went wrong, and how to fix it. |
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
Separation is good... overall.
| Wow. I don't know if I'd somehow fooled myself this would never happen, if I was living in a little world of my own that didn't exist. Seems that way. This is my first night alone in a long time. The door only just shut behind my partner's back and already I miss him. I know I am a needy, clingy person. Worse, I know we are one of those couples that are always cuddling, holding hands, talking to each other as if no-one else exists. We have plenty of time for other people, we make sure of that, but we also make sure we have more for each other. I know this minor separation is good for us - he has a new job that means he has to work night shifts - and it will overall make us stronger and all that cliche tosh. But I still miss him like a little girl. A lot of people seem to almost dislike their partners. The women at my office moan almost constantly about the men they are with, at varying levels of commitment. They all seem to 'wear the trousers', and want to keep those unruly men under thumb. I just wonder sometimes, whatever became wrong with being willing, happy, even wanting, to take a backseat - for the man you love? I'm not a lovey-dovey person, we are not romantic, we just get on really well. It's like living with your closest friend, but more. I know that my way is not the only way to achieve happiness, but it works for me. I guess I really just wanted to say that I love my honey, and I miss him tonight. Blogs were made for thoughts. |
Saturday, 1 March 2008
I need to make a post
| I haven't posted anything for over a month. Things have been crap at work, I've been depressed and I just didn't want to bore the world with that crap. However. My partner starts his new job today. Which is good as he hated the old one something rotten, and so did I as I had to wash the fibreglass shards out of his clothes every night. Also, his new job will leave him a lot more time for studying his part-time degree and taking the accountancy classes I carefully researched for him last year - and the calm, quiet, free time that I will have in the house will be good for my degree.... sometimes science just needs quiet. Usually, I like loud. I'm not a huge fan of silence unless it's the natural, outdoors, never-actually-completely-silent kind. Otherwise, I need music or conversation. Except, for when I am studying as I have the attention span of a small, boiled squirrel - and that is not conducive to chemicals or ecology. Signing off - for now. |